Normal is Subjective
by Kitsune Hanyou
Summary: Its a long road to recovery for Alphonse, especially when people are after him. 3rd story started from Returned, continued from Consequences.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Ok! Before starting this one, just know, this is the third story. It starts off with Returned, then Consequences, then this one. I hope you enjoy the first chapter, I had to struggle to write it. Mustang was just so difficult. The next chapter was much easier. Should be up soon as well. Enjoy!

Normal is Subjective

Chapter One:

Roy Mustang was exhausted as he stepped through the large wooden door of his home. Between making sure the Elrics were fine at night and all of the paperwork Lieutenant Hawkeye was forcing on him during the day, he was getting very little sleep. He cared for the Elric brothers very deeply, but he didn't know how long he could do this. It had only been one month since they had rescued Alphonse from Lieutenant Colonel Janlin. The boy was up to eating lukewarm, bland chicken broth, and was slowly being weaned off of morphine.

Poor Alphonse, whenever he was lucid, he was crying about the intensity of "feeling." It was strange to Mustang to think of what little change Alphonse had gone through as rapid progress. Sandra Cullings, the woman who had hid Alphonse from Janlin, had said that the youngest Elric was healing remarkably quickly. When Roy really thought about it, it did make sense to consider it rapid, only one month and Alphonse was eating and trying to get away from pain medicine.

The Sensory Deprivation Tank Cullings had brought was helping as well. After a minor mishap of the water in the tank being the wrong temperature—Edward had nearly knocked Roy's head off with the automail-fisted punch—Edward had hardly allowed Roy's assistance. Of course Roy had seen Edward's amazing control over Alchemy before, but he supposed it had never really clicked in his mind. Roy had heated the water the old-fashioned way, using his flames and a thermometer. The water had not felt hot, though it must have been by the way Alphonse had screamed. Edward had simply clapped his hands, touched the water, and made it exactly fifty degrees Celsius, body temperature, no thermometer necessary. Alphonse spent most of the time he wasn't sedated inside the tank. Cullings had said that it would take time before Alphonse's body would get use to his surroundings, he would spend less and less time in the tank or medicated. Unfortunately it seemed that the Elric brothers had the same amount of patience.

Roy tugged off his ignition cloth gloves and set them on an end table. He needed just a minute or two of doing nothing. He should be spending every moment trying to find who it was who had ordered the torturous experiments Alphonse would have been subjected to, but he needed to clear his head. He sank into his overstuffed armchair and sighed. He really should make himself some dinner and check on the Elrics. He'd almost forgotten how nice silence sounded.

_Silence_?

He started and quickly stood, there shouldn't be silence! He held his breath and listened harder. The upstairs shower was running, Edward must have been cleaning up, but beyond that, he heard faint cries.

"Brother," Alphonse cracking voice was calling softly.

Roy started for the stairs when a piercing, fearful scream echoed, "Edward!" Not since Ishbal had he heard such a fear filled, painful scream. He took the stairs two at a time making it to the door of the study as he heard the bathroom door slam open. Edward ran dripping wet behind him, his brother's name barely a whisper, with a towel wrapped around his waist.

The colonel reached the youngest Elric first, Alphonse was shivering, covered in sweat, moaning and whimpering Edward's name. Roy found that odd; Alphonse never called his brother by name. The colonel smoothed the boy's hair back, frightened by the heat radiating off the small boy.

Edward was just a half-second behind, he stopped abruptly, flinging a few drops of water on Roy. "Al! I was only gone for ten minutes! What's wrong? What's happening?!"

"Go to my desk, Cullings' number is there. Tell her to get here, now," Mustang ordered.

"W-what's wrong?" Edward's eyes widened fearfully, "I was with him all day! What happened?" He stood frozen at his brother's side.

"He has a high fever! Get on the phone and call Cullings now!" Mustang yelled. "Edward! Alphonse has a high fever, he needs help _now_. Call the damn doctor!"

That seemed to snap Edward out of whatever stupor he was in. He rushed to the desk that had been pushed against the back wall of bookshelves to make room for the two small cots the Elrics were sleeping on, quickly found the number and dialed. Roy didn't pay much attention, but did take note of how much the boy's voice shook.

Roy turned all of his attention on Alphonse. The boy was obviously delirious. And from the heat radiating off of him, Roy suspected a very high fever, too high to have happened in just the ten minutes while Ed was in the shower. They needed to get the fever down, fast.

The colonel pulled the blankets off of Alphonse and lifted the boy close to his chest. He was still far too light. Unseeing, dull eyes fluttered open and a broken whisper reached Mustang's ears, "Brother? Please, help me. Please, Ed."

Roy bit his tongue at first. Then he shushed the boy and rocked him gently, "It's alright, Al." The abbreviation of the boy's name felt strange, but he continued, "We're going to help you, don't worry."

Alphonse hollow gaze found Mustang's eyes once more before fluttering closed and his whole body fell limp. Roy would have thought Alphonse dead if not for the shallow, panting breaths.

"Colonel, s-she wants to talk to you."

Roy turned; Edward was shaking, looking like a beaten, lost puppy. How often Roy forgot that Fullmetal was still just a child. He shifted Alphonse's weight and took the phone, cradling it to his ear with his shoulder, "Cullings?"

"What's going on?" No emotion, very professional, she sounded like someone who dealt with hysterical panic regularly.

"I just got home. Alphonse is burning up, crying out, and isn't responding."

"Alright. I'm on my way. You need to cool him down before I get there." She sighed, "This is going to be hard, but you need to get him in an ice bath. I'll be there soon." _Click_, she hung up.

Roy handed the phones to Edward and waited until the boy's back was turned to swallow nervously. A few degrees above body temperature had had the boy screaming, what would nearly freezing do? He didn't have time to think about that. "Edward, I need you to transmute the water in the tank to ice-water."

Edward flinched, Roy could almost see the same thought he'd just had run through the boy's mind. "B-but you saw what happened last time…it'll hurt him…"

No time for hand-holding. Blunt, almost cruel was what he needed to be, they didn't have time for arguments. "Fullmetal, if we don't get his fever down, he won't be alive to feel _anything_." Roy immediately regretted his choice of words, but Edward didn't argue.

The boy clapped his hands and touched the water of the tank in the center of the room. As the light of the transmutation began to fade, small drops of condensation gathered on the outside of the metal. Ed watched as Roy quickly brought Alphonse to the tank and hesitated. He gave a silent apology for what he was about to do, wishing there was some way to get Edward out of earshot. There was no reason Edward had to see this, but Roy knew there was nothing he could say that would convince the eldest Elric to leave. The colonel took a deep breath and lowered Alphonse in.

The resounding scream was worse than when he'd gotten home. Weak limbs thrashed, trying to escape the freezing water. Roy laid the boy's head in the crook of his elbow, using his other hand to hold the boy's body under.

Alphonse's dull eyes turned to Roy, filled with pain. "Stop! Please!" The boy whispered. Tears welled in his eyes and he turned to Edward, "Brother, please. Make them stop. Help me, Ed. Please, help me."

The lost look on Edward's face almost made Roy forget how much the frigid water was burning his hands. "Hold on, little brother," Ed forced out shakily. He smoothed his brother's bangs out of his eyes. "It'll be okay, Al. Help is coming. Just hold on."

Alphonse didn't seem to hear his brother. "They're hurting me, brother. Why won't you stop them?! Help me, Ed! Please!"

The younger Elric seemed to run out of energy then. He fell completely lax in Roy's hold and breathed in gasps. Edward stared, frozen in shock, forcing back tears. Edward needed Roy to say something, some type of reassurance; Roy wished he knew what to say. "He's delirious because of the fever, Fullmetal. He doesn't know what he's saying." Edward just continued to stare at his brother. There was a loud knock at the front door. "Go let Cullings in, Edward."

Ed blinked and slid his left arm around Al's shoulders to hold him as Roy was. "You do it."

Al was whimpering again, "Brother, please. Why won't you help me? P-please, Ed…it hurts…"

Edward leaned in, touched his forehead to his brother's, whispering reassurances as Roy rushed out to get the doctor. Cullings was about to bang on the door again as Mustang opened it. "He's upstairs."

Sandra Cullings didn't say a word. She knew well what room Alphonse was in. As soon as she was in, the questions started. "You kept him hydrated, Edward?"

"Yes, but he complained about his stomach hurting, he didn't want to eat."

"How much morphine did he have today, that is one of the side effects?"

"Only one of the pills, early this morning. I tried to give him more, but he said he wanted to try again. I told him it was too fast, but he said he was tired of everything feeling weird."

Roy turned away for Edward wouldn't see his face. He put Alphonse in a tank of ice water while the boy had no pain medicine in his system?

"He-he wanted to go outside. I brought him out for about fifteen minutes, he wanted to stay longer, but I told him he needed to rest."

Cullings gave a soft smile, rested her hand on Ed's shoulder, "Go finish your shower, I'll take care of him."

"No, h-he…"

"It's going to be alright. I know what's wrong. Go get yourself something to drink. I'll come get you in a little while." She looked to Roy, "Colonel, will you get some towels and then lift Alphonse out, please?"

Roy got the towels and took Edward's position holding Al. Ed looked at Roy one last time for reassurance before leaving and closing the door behind him.

The instant he door closed, Cullings was preparing a syringe. Roy watched out of the corner of his eye as he peeled wet clothes from Alphonse's shivering body. "You said you know what's wrong?"

"I actually expected this alot sooner. It's an allergic reaction. His immune system is working too hard, attacking itself. It's from being kept from everything in the air; pollen, chemicals, soot, even exhaust from cars. He's body needs to rebuild tolerances again." She swabbed his right shoulder with an alcohol sodden cotton ball and emptied the contences of the syringe into his shoulder. "This should help. Lay him back in his bed and I'll monitor him for a few hours to be sure. I think you should talk to Edward."

Roy finished drying the small boy, got him into dry clothes and tucked him back into bed. He was about to leave when a weak hand caught his arm. Alphonse's unfocused eyes were on him again, "S-sorry, Ed. Forgive me, brother…didn't mean…'m sorry." The boy's eyes fluttered closed and his hand fell back to the bed. Roy sighed and walked out.

He couldn't hear the shower running, but he hadn't really expected Edward to finish. Instead he heard clear choking sobs. Biting his tongue, unsure if he was doing the right thing, Roy knocked and pushed the door open without waiting for an answer. Edward was sitting, legs stretched out in front of him, arms at his sides, staring blankly at the wall, his bodying shaking at the force of each sob. Roy had seen Edward's body before, but every time he forgot just how many scars covered the small chest. Silver steel stood in stark contrast to tan skin. The boy always stood so tall, never showing weakness; it was almost frightening to see him so open. "Edward?"

"I did that. It's my fault."

"He's sick, Edward, Sandy is giving him something that will make him better. Alphonse will be alright."

Ed continued as if he didn't hear, "He was begging for help. Asking why I wasn't helping him."

"You were helping him. He was _delirious_, didn't know what was going on around him," Roy insisted, kneeling in front of Ed.

"That's how he screamed my name that night."

"What?"

"The night we tried to bring mom back, when the gate was pulling him. These black…things wrapped around him. I reached for him, I tried! Why didn't it take me?! All it took was my leg! It stuffed my head with all this knowledge, all these stupid arrays no one has any idea of the power I know, and I can't even help my brother?! I used it to force him into the armor. Where he couldn't feel anything for five years! Then, I get his body back and all he feels is pain?! Isn't it bad enough? I killed my brother twice! Twice! I was too selfish that night. I didn't want to be alone." He looked up, finally acknowledging Roy's presence, "I should have let him die that night. We both should have died."

"It's only been a month, Edward. We knew it was going to take time. Alphonse is already asking to go outside, he wants off of the morphine. He _is_ getting better, Edward. It just takes time. He needs you to stay positive. Alphonse is scared. He needs you. He loves you; you saw what happened when he thought you were dead. He lost hope, stopped trying. Don't let him lose hope." Damn, that was probably the best speech he'd ever been forced to improvise.

Edward sniffled, "I need him. He's all I got."

"I know."

"I don't think I can be strong anymore. I'm scared. I don't know what to do."

Roy sighed, almost glad that the boy was acting his age. "That's why we're here. Let us help. Alphonse will get better. Give it time."

"I've already taken away so much…"

"Then help him get it back."

Ed nodded, wiping tears away with his flesh hand. "Don't tell him what I said, okay?"

Roy smiled sadly, somehow knowing that Alphonse probably already knew. "Of course."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay, I've been reading a lot of Mustang-centric fics in an attempt to be prepared for his next chapter. I just can't seem to get his desperation right. Or, at least in my head it doesn't seem right. Also, there are a lot of Ed-suicide fics in that Mustang-fatherly-role-thing, and I don't know. As crappy as Ed's life has been...it just doesn't seem to be in character. Maybe it's cause I've never felt like that, or don't know that kind of desperation...I've been on the other side, trying to help a friend, but that's different...not saying that those fics were bad or anything. I've read some amazingly written ones, it just seems weird to me. Or, maybe I don't think I can write Mustang because I think he's just so dreamy and can't get passed the fact that Travis' voice is so freaking sexy. I love Ed's character the most, but he's a kid in the series...Mustang is just the right age. Heehee.

Normal is Subjective

Chapter 2

"_Ed."_

Edward sighed, not even turning around this time. "For the hundredth time, Alphonse," he said, trudging through the sand en route to their newest lead on the Stone; that idea somehow seemed strange to him, but he ignored the feeling, "I'm not hungry, I'm not tired, yes, its a little hot, but stop worrying! I'm fine." Sure, his legs ached a little from this long walk, but that was normal.

"No, brother..."

Something about Al's voice made Ed turn around. Al was afraid. The suit of armor that held his brothers soul was trembling violently, Ed wondered why he hadn't heard the loud metallic clanking before he'd turned around. "What's wrong, Al?"

The tinny voice trembled, "I-I don't know, brother! S-something's wrong. I-I can't move. Everything's flashing to black. Help me!" As if to add emphasis, the suit of armor fell to the ground. "The seal, brother! Something's wrong!"

In an instant Ed had transmuted his automail into a sharp point, nearly severing the index finger of his left hand and knocked the helmet of Al's armor away. He was reaching for the mark of his dried blood in the back of the armor, but he couldn't reach it. Fuck! He was too short! It couldn't end like this! "Hold on, Al!"

"Brother, hel—"

The large arms fell limp and silence echoed through Edward's mind.

_No_. Ed stared franticly at the no longer animate armor. "Al?" He shook the armor desperately. "Stop, Al. This isn't funny. Alphonse?"

He stared at the blood in the back of the armor. The seal was fine. The seal was whole. What happened?

"It's your fault!" He heard his brother's voice spit. "You killed me, Edward. Why did I ever listen to you? You're not what everyone thinks, you're not a genius. You're a murderer. What did I do to deserve this?!"

"I'm sorry, Al."

"No, you're not," the voice said, matter-of-factly.

Ed wiped around, Alphonse Elric, his human form was standing behind him, staring him down with accusation.

"Al!" He fell to his hands and knees, begging. "I'm sorry, Al. I didn't—"

"Yes, you did. You're a murderer. What did I ever do to make you hate me, Edward? You were my hero, I followed you everywhere. I did everything you ever asked me to do. Why did you kill me?"

"Please, Al. I'm sorry. Please forgive—"

"_Forgive you_?! How can I ever forgive you?! You just let me die. You tried to blame everything on me! _You _wanted to bring back mom! _You_ sacrificed my body for that monster! I _hate_ you, Edward Elric!"

Ed was frozen on his hands and knees as Al knelt down in front of him. "Don't worry, brother," Ed noticed that he couldn't feel Al's breath as he spoke, just centimeters from Ed's face. Al's fingers traced Ed's right collarbone to his automail shoulder. Ed heard the latch of the mechanical arm being released and hissed at the pain of it disengaging from the port. The older brother shifted his weight clumsily so as not to fall. Al leaned in, his lips against his brother's ear. "I'll see you in hell."

Al pulled back enough for Ed to stare up at his brother's cold gray-green eyes. "Al, I'm so—" Ed's eyes widened as Alphonse plunged the transmuted blade through Edward's chest.

"_Ed!_"

Edward sat up quickly from his bed, looking around his room frantically. He was still in Mustang's study. Al was kneeling next to Ed's side, gasping with wide fear-filled eyes.

"Brother?" Alphonse was shaking, covered in sweat. "You were screaming. Are you a-all right?"

He turned away from his younger brother, "Just a nightmare."

"Oh," Alphonse said. "You w-want to talk about it?"

Ed couldn't look at his brother. What if his nightmare was true? Al was too nice a person, he'd never tell Ed that he truly hated his older brother.

_Wait_, Al had been in his bed, and earlier that same night, he'd struggled to walk more than a foot or two on his own. How had he made it all the way across the room?! "Are _you_ alright, Al?" He whipped back to face his brother. Alphonse was trembling, deathly pale, and covered in sweat. Small hands were clenching the blankets of Ed's bed tightly.

"I was worried about you." The younger boy looked away. "A-all of a sudden I-I felt hot, m-my heart started beating really fast, and I just...all of a sudden I had to just get to you. I don't know how I did it. I just did."

All he took from his brother, and now Al was trying to take care of him? "It was just a nightmare, Alphonse, relax."

Mustang sighed from the doorway. "Let's _all_ go back to sleep."

Ed started, he hadn't noticed the colonel standing there in his pajamas before. _Great_, he'd woken up Mustang as well.

The colonel was at Al's side helping the boy back to his bed. Edward couldn't even look at Al at the moment. Why was Al so worried about him? Al was hardly walking yet, six weeks after being returned to his human body, and he had still rushed over to Edward's bed at the slightest nightmare? Ed sighed. He couldn't keep worrying his brother. As soon as Al was healed and fine again, Edward would send him back to Risembol. Aunt Pinako and Winry would both be glad to have him. Or wherever else the younger boy wanted to go; Edward's military pay was more than enough to afford anything Al could want.

Alphonse would be able to live his own life, away from Edward. The thought made Ed want to cry, he didn't want Alphonse so far away, but how could he ask the younger boy to stay?

Ed shifted to face his brother's bed. Al was trembling. After-effect of the adrenaline rush, Ed reasoned.

"Goodnight, Al," he said softly, curling into a ball. He couldn't go back to sleep, not after that nightmare. It wasn't as if he'd never dreamed of his brother hating him before, but now...it was just too real.

Alphonse sighed, laughing lightly, "Pleasant dreams, brother."

_Sure_, Edward thought. He closed his eyes, he'd just rest until Al fell asleep. It'd be much easier to pretend to be asleep now that Alphonse was no longer sitting next to the bed, unable to sleep in an armor body.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Whoo-hoo! I finally have a computer of my own, after over a year and a half, I finally have a computer, Windows-free, wowzers, I love Linux, and this has turned into a really long run-on sentence that I don't know how to end. Anyway, I should be able to update more frequently now that I have this super-sleek, amazingly portable Acer Netbook. I'm about two chapters ahead in my notebook from what's typed, so once a week you should get a new chapter. And I'm getting away from Mustang for a while. He was a freaking pain to write. I don't want to write another Mustang chapter for a LONG time. That was the most miserable writing two weeks ever. I hope it turned out better than I thought it did. Oh! And I know this sounds really bad, but sometimes you just need yaoi, no matter how much of a cannon-freak you are, but I've been looking for an Envy/Al, and so far I've only found 6, three of which weren't very good. Any help?

Normal is Subjective

Chapter 3

Riza Hawkeye was walking the hall of headquarters, carrying a stack of papers that required the colonel's attention. Colonel Mustang had been able to get slightly more done in the last three weeks since the Elric brothers had moved back into their dorm. She had not seen either brother in six weeks, but the colonel had said that after two months, Alphonse had been well enough to go back and live with Edward alone. That was a great relief. She didn't see herself as overly-pessimistic, but she'd had her doubts about the boy's survival.

Riza wouldn't let anyone know, but the sight of the small boy crying, tied to the bed made her hate her country, just for a moment. Someone high up had ordered torturous experiments on a civilian, a _child_. She had read the orders Dr. Sandra Cullings had been given. Surgeries with no anesthesia, electrical conductivity tests, tests on exposure to heat, cold, wet, dry conditions, even chemical exposure...no person with even a hint of a conscience could do that to a person. Cullings had been right to falsify her report, saying that Alphonse had died before any experiments could be carried out.

It had to be kept quiet, though. The people who had ordered such things were after Colonel Mustang, using his best alchemist's weakness. Only the most trusted could know that Alphonse was alive and...soon to be well. Those boys brought out more maternal instincts than she'd ever thought she'd had.

She rounded the corner, Havoc was just stopping someone from running into the colonel's office. "Hey! Whoa, wait up. We don't allow kids—"

"Oh! Hi, Havoc! Sorry, I didn't see you." Alphonse sounded winded as if he'd been running for a while. "Is Lieutenant Hawkeye in? I have something I'd like to give her."

Riza smiled, the look on Havoc's face not withstanding, as he obviously recognized the voice. She could almost see his mind superimposing an image of the seven-foot steel armor over the young dark-blond haired boy smiling up at him. "Hello, Alphonse," Riza answered.

Havoc looked between the two, "Alphonse _Elric_?" he whispered, not believing.

Alphonse gave a small laugh as his smile widened, "Hello, lieutenant, how are you today?"

"I'm fine, what are you doing out of bed? Shouldn't you be resting?" The boy was still trying to catch his breath.

"All I ever do is lie in bed. How am I supposed to get better if brother won't let me leave the room? Its not like my body atrophied in the Gate or anything, I just have to get use to using everything again. I feel much better than the last time you saw me."

The last time she saw him, he was struggling to walk farther than the distance from his own bed to his brother's just across the colonel's study. And he was still trying to catch his breath! "You're gasping."

Again, he laughed lightly, "I haven't run in five years. I forgot how hard it was. It was just the length of the hallway...I know I shouldn't have, but...I just wanted to."

Riza smiled, how had their mother said no to that face? She reached over and gently lifted his arms, placing his hands on the back of his head, he winced slightly, but allowed her to. "Breathe in through your nose for five seconds, hold it for five seconds, and exhale through your mouth. Keep your arms above your head. It helps to open your lungs."

Alphonse laughed lightly, his breathing quickly returning to normal. "Wow," he lowered his arms, "Where'd you learn that?"

"Its part of training." Alphonse nodded. "You said you had something for me?"

The boy blushed, "Well, I...do you like flowers?"

Riza smiled and Havoc tried to hide his smile by suddenly finding the ceiling very interesting. "Every woman loves flowers, why?"

"Good!" Alphonse said excitedly. He pulled at the mailman's bag slung over his shoulder that Riza had not noticed before. He took out a small black chalkboard, a leather pouch and fished a piece of chalk out of his pocket. He placed the board on the ground, drew a simple transmutation circle, and emptied the contents of the pouch onto the circle. He then pulled a small broken golden chain from his pocket and placed it on the multicolored powder in the circle.

Havoc leaned in for a closer look, "What's all this?"

Alphonse was checking over his work as he answered, "Silica, iron-barium oxide, iron-sulphide, potassium permanganate, potassium dichromate, and a broken gold chain I found for the red."

Havoc looked at Riza who just shrugged, then back to Alphonse, "So...what's all this?"

Alphonse laughed, "Alchemy is very simple when you aren't really changing the structure of the elements." He touched his fingertips to the array and in a flash of alchemic light, the pile of powder and chain was gone, in its place was a miniature purple glass vase, filled with a dozen green stemmed multicolored roses; three each of ruby-red, reddish-blue, amber and purple. Alphonse picked up the small trinket and handed it to Riza. "I wanted to thank you for helping me out of that place."

Riza studied the flawless glass sculpture. It had amazingly fine detail, each rose had individual petals, even tiny thorns. Edward was not the only genius in the family. "They're beautiful, Alphonse, thank you."

The boy's face lit up with pride, and he laughed.

"Where'd you learn to do that?!" Havoc asked, "All I've ever seen is the military applications of alchemy."

"Oh, brother and I were making little things like this for mother when I was four or five."

"Four or five?!" Havoc exclaimed.

"Ed's were always better than mine."

"I think they're wonderful, Alphonse, thank you again." She looked around just noticing that Edward was nowhere to be found. "Where is Edward?"

"He was in the shower when I left," Al said looking away slightly. Quickly he added, "I have something to give the colonel, too, is he in?"

That was odd, the brothers almost never separated, epically after Alphonse was back to normal, Edward was even more overprotective. "Won't Edward be worried about you?"

Alphonse's smile fell, his face hardening, he almost spat out, "He shouldn't."

Riza and Havoc exchanged worried looks and Riza continued, "Colonel Mustang was on lunch, he should be back any minute."

Roy turned the corner then, and looked at the three standing in front of his offices, he opened his mouth to speak when a screaming voice echoed through the hall, "Colonel! Please, wait!"

The group watched as Edward ran up to Mustang, ignoring everything and grabbed the colonel's jacket. "Al's gone! You have to help me! I left to take a shower and when I got back, he was gone. Please, we have to start a search. If they've found him, they'll kill him! Please!"

"Fullmetal," Roy tried, but the boy didn't listen.

"No! We have to start now. They could have hurt him by now! We—"

Roy roughly grabbed the boy by the shoulders and turned him to face the three. Alphonse was turned away, looking shameful. Ed pulled away from Mustang and rushed to his little brother, scrutinizing every inch of the younger boy. His fear suddenly turned to anger, "You shouldn't be out, Al. Don't do that _ever_ again! I got out of the shower and you were just gone. Mustang told you, we have to be careful. We don't know who gave those orders."

"I know."

"Do you want them to tear you apart, Al?!"

"No!" Al yelled, leaning into his brother's face. "I just wanted to be outside! I wanted to do something by myself! I _can_ take care of myself, Edward! I'm not so pathetic."

Edward took a step back and lowered his head, shamefully. "All you had to do was tell me. I don't want to stop you from living, Alphonse, I just...the doctor said to take it slow. What if you fell or something and no one was around? I just want to be sure that you're all right before..." He looked away, Riza could easily see what the boy wasn't saying. Something was very wrong with the Elric brothers. Alphonse would never leave as Edward had just suggested, would he?

Al looked away from his brother, "I'm sorry, I just...I needed to be away. I needed to do something."

Ed nodded. "I...I'll be in the library, could you meet me there when you're done?"

Alphonse sighed, "Of course."

Ed nodded again and walked away.

Alphonse reached into his bag, pulling out another glass sculpture, this one was clear, in the shape of flickering flames, its edges bright oranges and reds, in the center was the transmutation circle on Roy's gloves. "Thank you, colonel," Alphonse said quietly, handing over the glass. "I hope you like it. I didn't really know what you liked. I worked really hard to get it to look right."

Roy smiled sadly, "Yes, thank you, Alphonse. I think we should talk—"

"I really shouldn't keep Ed waiting. Maybe later." He started slowly in the direction Edward headed.

Riza and Havoc both turned to Roy, "What was that all about?" Havoc asked.

"Something must have happened," Roy answered, "Something very bad. They've been acting like this for a while."

Riza nodded, "Should we talk to them, sir? Perhaps we can help?"

"Edward seems to feel guilty about something. More than what is usual." Mustang thought out loud. "I don't know what could be bothering Alphonse."

"He got angry when we said that Ed would worry," Havoc reasoned, "but why wouldn't Ed worry? You didn't see how wiped out that kid was just running down the hall; the boss should worry."

Roy sighed again, Riza watched as he slowly made his way to his office, cursing under his breath, "And those boys don't have enough to worry about."


	4. Chapter 4

Normal is Subjective

Chapter 4

Alphonse sat on his bed in the dorm room he shared with his brother, struggling with the buttons on his shirt. He was able to do almost everything on his own, he was even eating actual food instead of just soup. But buttons...he cursed, something he rarely did around others, but he seemed to be doing more and more frequently while he was alone. He had vowed to stop relying on his brother for so much; he saw how Edward had been looking at him. Ed always seemed tired and exhausted, and he was spending as much time as possible in the library or in the offices, away from Alphonse. The look in Edward's eyes told Al all he needed to know. Sad. Always sad. All because Ed couldn't live his own life; because he had to care for Al.

Buttons, buttons! Why the hell did everything have to be fastened with buttons?!

He growled, the vibrations tickled his throat in an annoying way as not-so-nimble fingers slipped again. "Damn it!" He must have spent ten minutes trying to fasten that first button. Was it ever this hard? He swore that he'd been able to fasten buttons when he was younger. He threw his hands down in frustration as Edward walked in.

He'd been wearing a smile as he stepped in, but one look at Alphonse and Ed's eyes filled with that sad expression. He rushed to his brother's side. "Hey, let me help," he said softly, reaching for Al's shirt. Ed quickly finished the buttons and straightened the collar, "There."

Al mumbled a quick thanks.

"I-I uh, I'm going to the library. You want another book?" He turned his face away.

Al didn't know what hurt more, the fact that he couldn't do anything himself or that Edward wouldn't look him in the eye anymore. "No thank you. I have to go talk to the colonel. I shouldn't be too long."

Ed gave him a worried look then turned around to the door, "Oh, okay. Thanks for telling me. I'll bring us back some dinner."

"I can get my own, Ed. You don't have to."

Ed's shoulders slumped. "Okay. I'll see you back here later." He grabbed his pocket watch off of the dresser, he must have forgotten it on his way out the first time, and left.

Al sighed, trying not be so much of a bother to his brother was more turning out to be more difficult than he'd ever thought it would be. But that didn't matter. He needed to stop interfering with Edward's life. He needed to stay out of the way.

With a sigh, Al knelt and picked up his bag. Books sure were heavy. He really did need another book from the library, but he didn't want Ed to have to get it for him. No, Ed would ask why. He didn't know why he felt so bad about asking his older brother.

Al was sure he had seen the transmutation circle that was bugging him before, but he couldn't find it in any book. It was simple, but complex at the same time. The circle was filled with triangles and had a hook hanging from the top. He couldn't just draw and activate it; if he didn't have the right materials, didn't know what would happen...alchemy was a dangerous science, he had found that out firsthand.

Maybe Colonel Mustang had seen it before?

He lifted the bag and slung it over his shoulder, sighing. One more thing to ask the colonel.

* * *

Alphonse took a deep breath. He needed to do this. He refused to be a burden anymore. Mustang would agree to this, he _had_ to. Alphonse was much better now. He was walking a mile and a half every day; he had been completely off of the morphine pills for almost a month. His brother wouldn't spar with him, so he didn't know if his martial arts skills had waned, but after practicing a little himself, he found that he was still fairly limber. Though it exhausted him very quickly, his muscles still remembered the moves.

He stepped into Mustang's offices; he waved and greeted everyone, Hawkeye and Havoc both answered with, "Good morning, Alphonse," while Breda, Fulman, and Fury stared. He'd gotten use to stares while in the armor, but it was different now. When people he knew stared at him like that his face felt hot, something in his stomach tightened uncomfortably, and he had an overpowering urge to run away.

He took a deep breath, "Is the colonel in? May I speak with him?"

"He's on the phone with command," Hawkeye smiled at him. "You can go in when he's finished." Alphonse noticed the little glass vase and flowers sitting on her otherwise very spartan desk. It made him smile as well. "Why don't you have a seat?"

"Or better yet," Fury said, "talk to us!"

"Yeah," Fulman finished. "We haven't seen you and Ed in, what? Four months?"

Alphonse's blushed, "I...I was sick. Ed had to take care of me."

"Ed?" The lower officers looked at each other, Hawkeye just gave him a sad expression. Of course they would notice that he'd stopped using the term, "brother."

"Did you two have a fight?" Fury asked, worried.

_Not yet_, Alphonse thought. Instead, he laughed, "Not today, but he isn't too happy about me walking around alone yet. He's at the library, or...he's probably getting himself something to eat by now."

Hawkeye eyed him suspiciously, "He knows you're here this time, right?"

Al nodded, "Yes, I don't want him to worry anymore."

"He's you're older brother, Al," Breda said, stepped around her desk and gave Al a light hug. The boy tried to hide his wince. "Edward will always worry about you. Its part of the job."

Too many emotions filled him then, "He needs to worry about himself! All he does is try to take care of me. He's sixteen! He shouldn't have to." Al flinched and swallowed the rest of his emotions when he saw the shock on all five faces in front of him.

Havoc cleared his throat and abruptly changed the subject. "So, do you have anymore glass sculptures or toys to wow us with?"

"Yeah," Breda said excitedly, "We saw what you made for the colonel and First Lieutenant Hawkeye. They're beautiful."

"You could open your own shop and make a killing! 'Toys and Art by Alphonse Elric'. I'd buy them," Fury said.

Alphonse beamed, Hawkeye smiled at him. "No, but," he pulled out the piece of chalk that was always in his pocket, "I could make something while we wait." Havoc handed him a fresh pencil. "Hmm, wood, carbon, steel, rubber..."

"How about a little figurine, something to put on my desk, like what you gave them," Havoc asked.

"This isn't a lot of material, it will be very tiny, even if I make it hollow. It'll be very fragile."

"Oh," Havoc stared at the pencil.

"How did you learn to do that? I mean, make glass like that." Fury asked, straightening his glasses.

"Oh, its actually very simple. You just have to know the right circle, and glass is just heated silica, so it was simple to figure out what elements made what color and go from there. I didn't have to change anything complex."

"So, is it like what Colonel Mustang does?" Breda asked.

Alphonse laughed, "Oh, no! Adding energy to make the glass is very simple. Flame alchemy is one of the hardest things to learn, let alone master. Colonel Mustang actually manipulates the fuel/air ratio around the flames to control the amount of heat and light. There are very few who actually attempt it. Most who've tried are usually covered with scars from burns. It proves what a powerful alchemist he is."

"You say that like you admire him," Havoc laughed.

"I do," Alphonse answered. "He's always helped Ed and me. Even if Ed gets angry at him, he always takes care of us."

"Have you made anything for yourself?" Breda asked.

Al looked at her questioningly, "Myself? Why?"

"Practice?" She shrugged, "I don't know, I'm a soldier, not an alchemist."

"I did make this," Alphonse reached into his bag and withdrew a small silver figurine from it. "I just wanted to...I can't show it to Ed, it'll make him upset."

It was a palm-sized replica of his armor body. Every detail, exactly recreated, down to the painted symbol on the shoulder.

Everyone jumped as the door to Mustang's private office was thrown open. The colonel stomped out, "I'm going to lun—"

"Alphonse wanted to speak to you, sir," Hawkeye said swiftly. The other officers went back to their desks.

Something flashed in the colonel's eyes, something Al couldn't quite make out, before he turned and motioned to his office, "Come in."

Al took a deep breath and steeled himself. _This is for Ed_, and walked into the room.

When the door closed, Mustang said, "Have a seat," and sat back behind his desk. The flame glass sculpture was sitting prominently on the right side. "What can I do for you?"

_Now or never_. "I was hoping you would be willing to sponsor my application to become a State Alchemist."

"No."

Alphonse gasped, he'd expected an argument, but a flat-out, _no_? "Why not?"

"What did Edward say when you asked him?"

Al grit his teeth, "I didn't ask him. This is about me, not him."

"He is your legal guardian, you're underage. We would need signed consent."

"You didn't need any consent for Edward! He was twelve!"

"You were orphans, wards of the state. I made sure the paperwork was dragged out so you two wouldn't be sent to an orphanage. When Ed got his certification, one of the papers he signed was for legal guardianship of you. You were eleven, Alphonse, do you really believe the state would have let you run around the country without a guardian?"

"No one came for us after mother died."

"Risembol is a small village in the mountains, by the time the state found out and sent someone, you were off on your alchemy training. Talk to Edward, if he says yes, I'll think about it."

Alphonse was fuming. Ed would say no, of course he'd say no, but something in the back of the boy's mind told him that even if by some miracle Ed did say yes, Mustang would still say no. "I know I'm not as good an alchemist as Ed, but I'm sure if I studied I could do better on the written exam than last time."

"Better?" Mustang laughed, "Don't you know what your score was?"

"You told me to drop out, I didn't check."

"Do you know what a passing score is?"

"Yes," Alphonse nodded, "three hundred fifty correct or satisfactory out of five hundred eighty two is required. Four hundred is considered high level."

"Yes," Mustang nodded. He stood and walked to the filing cabinet near his desk and pulled out a blue folder. "I scored a four o' two. Your father scored four ninety-nine. Edward, four ninety-eight."

"Just one under dad?" Al sighed, "I knew Ed scored high."

"Did you know that out of all of the people taking the exam that day, you were the only one who finished?" He sat down and opened the folder.

"I was?"

"Yes, your score caused a lot of problems. It wasn't Edward the fuhrer was there to see, he was there to see you."

"Why?"

"I allowed you to take the exam because I never believed you would pass. You were eleven, you allowed Ed to decide damn near everything, and I hadn't seen you use alchemy." He sighed and turned the folder so that Alphonse could read it. "You, Alphonse Elric, age eleven, scored the highest since the exam was created."

"I scored higher than Ed? What did I get?" He looked down at the folder.

"Out of five hundred and eighty-two questions, you answered correct and satisfactory on five hundred and seventy-six."

"What?!"

"The proctors hand checked every answer. First, they suspected cheating. Then, they started arguing over what you would be doing once you were given certification. Talk about you being one of the Fuhrer's personal alchemists. If not that, you would be working on the most top-secret of projects. You would have been taken away from Ed, it would have been discovered what you were, and you would have been locked away in a secret location for who knows how long. They don't know why you disappeared. Why do you think I brought you to a secluded alley to tell you to drop out. If they knew..." he sighed. "You are not a soldier, Alphonse. They would turn you into a killer."

Alphonse stammered for a moment, unsure of what to argue first. "Why don't I know this? The exam results are public record! If I did so well, why didn't I have people asking me about it?"

"The results are public record only after the alchemist is certified. The only people who know about this are the proctors, the Fuhrer, you and myself."

Alphonse was now getting desperate, "I have to! I have to do something! Ed can't take care of me anymore!"

Mustang obviously misunderstood, "If that's what you've been worried about, Alphonse, don't. Edward gets extra pay every month for having a dependent. How you boys traveled, and the fact that you did not have to eat or wear clothes even saved your brother a lot on money. You have nothing to worry—"

"No!" Alphonse interrupted, "I know he has more than enough. I don't want him to have to take care of me. I don't want to be a burden anymore!"

Mustang started, "You are not a burden to Edward. He loves you. I'm sure if you just talk to him, he will tell you. Is this why the two of you have been fighting?"

"We aren't fighting! You haven't seen how he looks at me! Ed needs to live his own life; and if I need to be gone for him to do that, I will disappear!"

Mustang closed his eyes and sighed, "All I ask, then, is that you—"

"Be careful," Alphonse scoffed, "I know." He stood to leave, not caring about manners. But he remembered the circle. "Oh," he pulled out a piece of paper he'd drawn the array on. "I've been having trouble with this. I feel like I've seen it before, but I don't recognize what the symbols do. I can't find it in any book. Have you seen it?"

Mustang took the the paper, "It looks familiar. I'll check around."

"Thanks," Al mumbled. He left the offices without one look at the other officers. He'd go down and get some food before heading to the library. He wouldn't be allowed to read some of the alchemy books he'd had access to with Edward, but he'd make do. He just needed to walk off this anger first.

The Fuhrer would make him disappear because of his score. Edward wouldn't have to worry about him.

He didn't know if he believed Mustang about his score, but if it was true...he didn't want to think about it, but, if Mustang wouldn't back his application, maybe someone else would? He didn't want to be under anyone else's command, but he had to think of something. He sighed, the muscles of his shoulders and neck felt tight, and he was clenching his jaw without realizing it.

He was angry, frustrated, confused, and at a loss for how to fix it. Maybe food would clear his head. Hopefully, Edward was already done eating, he didn't want to see that look in his brother's eyes right now. Not after his plan had been so entirely shot down.

He growled and ran a hand through his hair. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going. He just needed to walk. His heart was pounding, he could feel his breath was irregular, but kept trudging forward. He didn't know how long he walked, wondering the halls of Headquarters. He needed to think!

He had to stop and close his eyes for a moment to try to clear away the black spots that danced in front of his vision. His heart was beating too fast. His breathing was wrong...too shallow...he lifted his arms the way Hawkeye had told him. It didn't help. His breaths were too shallow.

He fell against the wall, trying to catch his breath. What was wrong with him?!

"Hey, kid, are you okay?"

He tried to look at the blue blur asking him the question; instead, he collapsed, unconscious before he hit the floor.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Appy-polly-loggies my droogs, I did _hate_ the last chapter. Unfortunately, once that plot twist was inside my head, it refused to be written _any_ other way. And I wrote three others. If you can believe, all three sounded worse. Esh. Whatever. Here's chapter five; no more Nadsat, either. Promise. Though, I'm almost as upset at this chapter, but then, I've said before, I hate writing for Mustang. Sorry its so late. Sometimes life just gets in the way. ::mumbles::Stupid cloudy Southern California...cold in June...mountains in the middle of nowhere...satellite internet stupidest invention ever...::mumble:: And its very easy to tell that it was written while I was hungry, cause the stupid doctor said I couldn't eat wheat...did you know that wheat is in practically everything?! How, after 24 years of eating something, you are just suddenly allergic to it?!

Normal is Subjective

Chapter 5

Roy wanted to slam his head against his desk. First, he was on the phone for over two hours with command, for them to tell him that there was no record of The Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric, ever being arrested; that, as far as they knew, Alphonse Elric was a simple dependent, nothing more, and perhaps, he should, "keep a better eye on his subordinates." His search for answers was only drudging up more questions.

Then, Alphonse storms in, all but demanding to join the ranks?!

There was no chance in hell that he would allow that boy to do that. Not now. Maybe after he became Fuhrer, so he could watch over the boy closely. And that was only _maybe_.

At least he had discovered what had been bothering Alphonse. Roy sighed, children were stupid. He had seen the way Edward looked at his younger brother. Roy had seen it since he went to Edward's hospital room, and it just became more prominent every time Alphonse failed an attempt at something that should come easily.

What he didn't understand was why Edward wasn't reassuring his brother.

He looked at the piece of paper Alphonse had handed him. The boy had been right, it looked very familiar, but the symbols within the circle didn't make sense. Triangles and a hook...what did they mean?

His stomach growled, reminding him that he had been headed to a late lunch when Alphonse dropped in. He stepped out of his private office, catching the end of a conversation.

"—wonder what happened," Fury said more than asked.

"Must have been bad if he won't call him 'brother' anymore," Breda answered.

"He was acting weird last week too," Havoc said.

Roy announced that he was headed to the mess hall to get lunch and stepped out. He would have to speak to Edward about Alphonse's behavior.

The teen in question actually walked right into Roy, when the colonel was a little more than half-way to he hall that held his mediocre lunch. Edward looked up at the colonel, startled. "Oh, sorry, colonel," he mumbled. The boy's shoulders were slumped and he had that lost look Roy had seen with increasing frequency on the boy's face. "Did Al talk to you?"

"Yes," Roy nodded. He mentally groaned, he'd have to postpone lunch, again. "Will you come back to my office? I think we need to talk."

Edward was instantly on alert. He straightened, "What happened? Is Al okay?!"

"Al is fine," the teen quickly relaxed, "but I am worried."

Edward's brow furrowed, "Why? He's been doing much better. He..." Edward lowered his head, "he really doesn't need my help that much anymore."

Roy wanted to grab his subordinate and shake some sense into him. Instead he decided to be blunt, Edward had always responded to that. "He just asked if I would sponsor his application to become a State Alchemist."

Edward's head snapped up and he shouted, "No! You can't let—" the boy stopped, guilt filled his eyes before he lowered his head until his bangs covered his eyes and continued softly, "If-if that's what he wants, you should. People don't usually give him a second thought, but he's just as good as me. Maybe not as fast, cause he has to draw a circle, but he's still good."

Could he get away with punching Fullmetal in the jaw, right there in the hallway? _No_. "They wouldn't allow you two to be in the same unit. You would most likely be stationed on opposite sides of the country. You wouldn't see each other for months, possibly even a year at a time."

Edward gasped, and gave Roy a look the colonel had hoped for; the fear of loss. _Good_. Roy could work with that. Fullmetal was easy to read, easier to manipulate. Roy had done it a few dozen times before, why did he suddenly feel guilty for using the tactic? Edward turned his face away again. "I can transfer. He'd be a good State Alchemist, I've never beaten him in a fight, and look at all the fights I've won. His body should be fine by the time the exam comes again."

"He wouldn't need to retake the exam." It was the truth, but it helped to make this choice as unappealing as possible. Alphonse seemed determined to do this, if Roy wouldn't be his sponsor, he'd find someone else. That would be dangerous, not just for Alphonse, but for Roy's plans as well. Roy needed Edward to talk his brother out of it. "His score was well above average. All they would require is an interview and to prove who he was."

Edward looked ready to tear his hair out. "He's not ready!" The boy started walking. Roy followed, much to his dismay, it was away from the mess hall. "I won't stop him, if that's what he wants."

"I don't think it is." Edward looked up, hopeful. "He said he wanted to do it because he no longer wanted to be a burden to you."

"A _burden_?!" He froze, "Al's not a burden." He scoffed and started walking again, "You're wrong. He won't let me help him. Its easy to see. He's finally mad at me for messing up everything. Like he always should have been."

_Oye_. For being so close to each other, those two sure couldn't read each other very well. Roy sighed, no, they probably were seeing what they wanted to see. Edward was so consumed by guilt, he saw anything as proof that Alphonse hated him. "No, Edward, he's frustrated..." he trailed off, Edward wasn't paying attention, he was staring at the growing number of soldiers gathering around one section of the wall. The soldiers were all talking over each other.

"Oh, man, what happened?"

"Did someone call a medic?"

"He's just a kid!"

"Is he even breathing?"

"Go get a medic!"

"Do you think he's someone's kid?"

"He's too young to be in the military."

"Hey! Give him some air!"

The crowd stepped back, all Roy got was a flash of dark-blond hair, but that was enough. "Attention!" They immediately stepped aside all at attention except for the one young second lieutenant crouched beside Alphonse. "Report!" The colonel ordered.

The young man seemed to scramble a moment before answering. "I was just walking down the hall, sir, this kid seemed to be having trouble breathing. He leaned against the wall, I asked if he was okay, and then he just collapsed."

"Collapsed?" Roy turned at Edward's whisper. The boy had that same lost look Roy had seen the night he'd come home to Alphonse's high fever. The boy's wide eyes didn't seem to be seeing his brother at the moment, though. Roy got his answer half a second later as Edward breathed the word, "mother."

The second lieutenant stammered a moment, then continued, "I turned him onto his back and checked to make sure he was breathing."

Before Roy could react, Edward shook his head and knelt down next to his brother. He slid his automail arm under Alphonse's shoulders and lifted the boy to cradle him against his chest. Alphonse gave a slight moan, Edward brushed stray locks from the younger boy's forehead. "Al?"

Unfocused eyes fluttered open, "B-brother? What...?"

Hushed voices spoke all around Roy.

"Isn't that The Fullmetal Alchemist?!"

"I thought his brother wore that weird armor."

"I heard that the doctor who made his automail arm made the armor for his brother."

"Yeah, I heard that, too. Cause the brother was very sick. Like his own person bubble."

"So that's why I never saw him eat when they were in the mess hall."

"Yeah, poor kid. I heard the Fullmetal became a State Alchemist to cure his brother."

"Aw, how sweet. I hear Medical Alchemy is the hardest of all."

"They do call him a prodigy."

Roy sighed in relief. At least the rumors he'd started so long ago about the brothers were being believed. He looked at the younger boy. He looked dazed, confused, as he struggled to get his eyes to focus. "Brother? What happened?" Alphonse asked, slightly more lucid.

"They said you collapsed," Edward said quietly. "Let me help you up."

Alphonse tried to stand, wobbling slightly, "I can walk, Ed."

Edward pulled away quickly, even though Alphonse's hand was on the wall to steady himself. Roy sighed, "But you shouldn't," he said, lifting the boy easily. While Alphonse had gained a substantial amount of weight, he was still far too light in Roy's hold. "You need to be looked at by the medic. We'll go to my office."

Alphonse sighed but leaned his head on Roy's shoulder, complying to Roy's order without argument.

Edward followed closely behind. He stopped mid-stride and looked over his shoulder at the man who had helped his brother. "Hey, what's your name?"

The young man snapped to attention and saluted, "Second Lieutenant Stephen Matherson, Major Elric, sir!"

The young alchemist gave him a soft smile and said, "Thank you," before continuing after Roy.

Edward threw the door to Mustang's office open and the colonel stormed in, gently laying Alphonse on the couch.

Breda was the first on his feet, "What happened?" The rest of the group followed suit awaiting orders.

Alphonse sighed, "I'm fine, now, rea—"

"Call a medic," Mustang ordered. Hawkeye, always anticipating the colonel's needs, was already on the phone. The colonel continued, "Havoc, get some water. Falman, find a clean cloth."

The younger teen started to sit up. "Really," Alphonse insisted as Roy, none-too-gently, pushed the boy back down, "I feel much better now."

"You collapsed, Alphonse." The colonel said coldly, "People don't just collapse. You _will_ be looked at by the medic."

The boy opened his mouth to argue but closed it quickly at Roy's glare. Havoc offered the small pitcher of water and a glass, when Roy turned to accept, he noticed that Edward was still standing in the doorway. The older teen's head was down, his hands clenched into fists. He needed something to do. Roy filled the glass, handed it to Alphonse and took the cloth Falman had found. "Edward," the boy jumped, "come here." Edward walked to Roy's side, "I need you to keep him lying down," he dipped the cloth into the pitcher, "keep this on his forehead." Edward followed the orders mutely.

Alphonse made sure to avoid his brother's gaze.

"The medic will be here in a few minutes, sir," Hawkeye said, she was the only one not huddled around the brothers.

The colonel nodded, hoping that Alphonse had nothing seriously wrong. He appeared to be fine now, but looks could be deceiving. Roy didn't want to think about what would happen if it really was life-threatening.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Whoo-hoo! I always love when a fic is nearing completion. I wonder if I can drag it out to be ten chapters...hmmm. Who knows, but I do apologize for the last chapter. I wanted to have the doctor scene in it, but I ran out of time, then when I tried to upload, my internet died, and a host of other stupid things. I never said that I didn't like Mustang! I mean, MSA member here, I just don't think I can write him very well. And I've said it before, but I am a cannon-freak. You're story better fit somewhere in the universe, or I'm not reading it. Though...there are some things I can forget...like the movie...but whatever, enjoy! I was being bugged by a few reviewers, so here's what Shenwaiyangtze wanted. Not that I changed the story for you, it was going to happen either way. :-P So don't go thinking you're all special or anything, love, :-P but here:

Normal is Subjective

Chapter 6

_Bed rest._

_Stupid medic._

He had been stuck in bed for nearly four months! He didn't want to be in bed to sleep, let alone be told he needed to stay there again. So he had _one_ panic attack. Hyperventilated until he passed out, _once_. All things considered, it was a pretty stressful day, and he was angry and frustrated and...they didn't understand. No one could. He vaguely wondered if babies felt this way. That if, maybe an infant could talk, they would know and understand how it felt for everything that was so simple to everyone else was a monumental feat to accomplish.

Perhaps it was because of that pain that no one remembered their earliest years?

Alphonse sighed, wishing Ed would talk to him. It was a selfish thought, after everything Edward had sacrificed for Alphonse; the younger brother still wanted more. This was what he wanted, Ed to live his own life, but it was still lonely being stuck in the dorm room all by himself. He almost wished that something had been wrong with him. Edward had only left his side to clean up or use the bathroom while Alphonse had been recovering. He had hated feeling so helpless, but in retrospect, it had almost been nice. His brother had always been smiling, encouraging every minute thing, even when Al had been upset or frustrated. He realized that he had not seen Edward's smile in months and felt guilty for wishing himself ill.

The fear and sadness that just radiated off of Edward when he pulled the doctor away after the short examination made Al feel all the more guilty.

_Edward pulled the doctor aside, Alphonse had to strain to hear his brother's soft words, but heard them as clearly as he could see the tears Edward was desperately trying to hold back. "Doctor, we..." Ed started, licking his lips nervously, he continued, "our mom collapsed. We found her on the floor unconscious not long before she died. Does..." he closed his eyes and too a deep breath, "is Al gonna die?"_

_The doctor patted Ed's shoulder, "He had a panic attack, Major Elric. Allow him to rest and he should be fine. I've heard rumors that he's been very ill for quite some time, though aside from being more than a bit underweight, he seems perfectly healthy. I don't have his medical records, so you might want him to be looked at by his regular physician, but I'm positive that with a little rest and a few hearty meals, he'll be fine."_

_Ed closed his eyes, swallowed and nodded; still looking as if he were about to cry._

How could Al have done that to Ed?!

He shook his head, Al remembered what he felt when Ed and he had found their mother lying on the floor. The fear and panic and the only thought running through their minds was that she was dead.

Al had woken up in Ed's arms. He could imagine what Ed's thoughts were when he had seen Alphonse lying sprawled on the floor in the middle of the hall. In his intense rush to free Edward from being his keeper, he was just making more work and worry. What was the right answer?

Alphonse stared at his latest alchemy book Edward had brought back from the library. Edward left Al alone in the dorm room for the most part, but had asked that the younger brother, _please_ stay in bed. So, Ed would leave in the morning, return around noon for a minute or two with lunch for Al, and would return once again in the evening with a new stack of books for Al to read while in bed.

Al was alone for about nine hours every day, for the last four days. Alphonse thought it a bit excessive for a simple panic attack, but it gave him time and solitude to search for the answer to his question. He still had yet to find the meaning of the transmutation circle.

Ed had almost taken the books away when he had come home to Al staring in wonder at a lightly bleeding paper cut on his index finger. Al had laughed at himself when he said something along the lines of, "Brother, I...I have blood!"

Ed had laughed and shook his head, looking tired and worn and far too old, when he answered back, "Of course you have blood, silly. You're human again."

Alphonse's smile had dropped a little and he said, "Yes, I know. Thank you, brother. I don't..." he sighed, "Thank you, Ed."

Ed's smile fell, he had turned and nodded, "You're welcome."

Al sighed, researching was getting him nowhere. Maybe he didn't know what they symbols did, but he knew what they didn't do. They weren't for fire, water, earth, or air alchemy. The spaced triangles on the outside would suggest metal alchemy, but with all of them connected, and so many, they would mean something different. He just wasn't sure exactly what.

Perhaps it was not the smartest thing he could do, but the first alchemists had just drawn and activated, without knowledge, he could just try it. He tried not to think about the little anecdotes about the horrible, painful deaths that found many of those early alchemists.

He drew the array on his chalkboard and looked around for materials. He didn't have any more metal...

_Wait_...

Yes he did! The little figurine of his armor body that he'd made using some spare screws and useless other bits form Ed's automail maintenance kit.

He grabbed the figurine from his bag and sat back down on his bed. He placed the figurine in the center of the circle.

He took a deep breath and rubbed his fingers together nervously.

This was stupid. Every fiber of his being was telling him that he shouldn't do this. He knew how dangerous alchemy was. He needed to ask Ed.

_No._

He could do this without Ed.

Alphonse closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and activated the transmutation circle.

One moment he was staring at the figurine on his bed, the next there was a horrible pulling/tearing sensation that had left him gasping, then he was staring at the ceiling. He tried to sit up, but found that he couldn't move, not even his head would turn. He whimpered fearfully and tried to look around. Everything looked strange.

That was when his eyes fell on the monstrously large hand lying next to him. He followed it up to a wrist, a white clothed arm, to his own, huge, pleasantly sleeping face. He tried to scream. No sound came from where he lay, but the sleeping face's brow furrowed, its mouth opened slightly and it gave a slight whimper.

He was the figurine.

_Oh, God_! He was the figurine!

He couldn't move because the figurine was not his armor. It didn't have joints or places that would bend. He struggled; trying to get the figurine to twist, turn over, something. All he succeeded in doing was getting his flesh body to roll over, knocking both the chalkboard and the figurine to the floor.

How would he get back?

He tried to yell again; to call for his brother, though he knew that Ed wouldn't be home for some time...unless he somehow lost time before he "woke up" as the figurine. Again, no sound came from where he was, but his body gave a pathetic, dream-like mumble of "Brother."

He mentally took a deep breath, he needed to think. He needed to stop the reaction. _How_?

Thoughts started to roll together in his mind. How could he have been so stupid? Of course he knew what that array did! It had been the only thing keeping him "alive" for five years!

Memories he hadn't known he'd forgotten filled his head. How could he have been so stupid?!

There was a soft knock on the door. He could barely see the door if he strained. He tried to call for help, only to have his flesh body whisper again.

The person knocked again, then he heard his brother on the other side. "Hi, colonel. What are you doing here?"

"Just checking on how you both were doing."

Keys jingled and the door opened, "Hey, Al..." he stopped and smiled. He turned back to the colonel, his finger over his lips, telling the colonel to be quiet. Ed set down the new library book on his bed and walked over to Alphonse's. Ed sat on the edge and brushed the hair out of Al's eyes.

Al mentally gasped. He felt the touch. It was strange and felt far away, detached, if a touch could feel that way. He couldn't stay this way! He needed Ed's help. He tried calling his brother one last time. He watched as his face filled with the fear he felt and it said weakly, "Brother."

Ed took Alphonse's hand, "I'm here, Al. Its just a nightmare. I'm here."

Alphonse wanted to growl in frustration. He needed another way to contact his brother.

Ed sighed and turned to the colonel, "He use to be such a light sleeper. I'm the one you'd have to beat over the head to get me up in the morning. Now...he sleeps through everything. I've accidentally banged my automail against the bed or the dresser and he stays asleep. But...any time he whispers in his sleep, it wakes me up." He ran his flesh hand through Al's hair, "He's been having nightmares."

The colonel looked thoughtful. "He's been waking you up?"

"No," Ed smiled sadly, "I don't sleep as much as Al thinks. I got really good at pretending to sleep while Al was in the armor. I...I like to watch him sleep. He...I'm scared that I'm gonna wake up one morning and he's going to be gone."

The colonel nodded, he looked around the room, when his eyes fell on where the figurine that was Alphonse, they stopped. Al mentally gasped, did the figurine's helmet light with the same red-fire eyes like his armor did? Could the colonel see? Would he tell Ed to help him?! "Edward," the colonel pulled a folded paper from his pocket. "Do you know what this array does?"

Ed took the piece of paper and scoffed, "Is this a joke?"

"No," the colonel said calmly.

"Course I do! That's the array I drew in Al's armor. Its the seal to bind his soul. Why?"

The colonel's eyes locked onto the figurine, giving Alphonse a weird feeling. "How does it work? The symbols don't seem to make any sense."

Ed smiled, he held onto Al's hand as he spoke, "Alchemy isn't really about the arrays as much as it's about the person. Have you noticed that when you add something of your own to an array, it can be more powerful? You added the lizard to the fire array on your gloves. I learned while I was in the Gate that...you have better success if...it means something. Not just scientifically, but emotionally. All I had was the armor to seal his soul to. So I used the triangles on the edges to show metal, the star is part of a human transmutation, but with it broken up, it just takes one part. Then...I realized that I needed something to catch just the part I wanted. It was stupid, but the only thing that went through my mind was...fishing. Al and I went fishing a lot at the river by our house. So I added the hook. To "catch" his soul. It was stupid, but...it worked."

Mustang glanced back to the figurine. "Have you spoken to Alphonse yet?"

Ed tensed and turned away from Al's body. "I...I can't. I can't ask him to stay."

"Why not?" The colonel asked, he kept glancing back to the figurine. "You said—"

"I know what I said!" Ed snapped angrily, then quieted his voice, "I don't deserve to ask him to stay. I've taken too much of his life already. Wherever he wants to go, I'll send him. If he wants to be a State Alchemist, I'll transfer so he can be under your command. You'll keep him safe, right?" He looked at Mustang worried, "You wouldn't send him on the stuff I've had to do, right? If he got hu...I can't lose him, colonel. Even if he doesn't want me around anymore, I don't know what...what would I do without him?"

Al gasped.

"Why haven't you told Alphonse how you feel?"

"I told you! I can't ask him to stay!"

"Why?" The colonel voiced Al's thoughts.

Ed turned away from the colonel to look at Al's body again, "You don't know what happened after you told me he was dead."

The colonel had told Ed he'd _died_? _When_? Just after the transmutation?

"I know," Mustang said sadly, "You tried to commit suicide."

_What_?!

Ed laughed bitterly, "That's what you all thought. That didn't even cross my mind until those nurses were holding me down and taking my arm. I actually transmuted the gurney into a new armor. I made my arm into a blade..." he sobbed loudly, "I just wanted my brother back! But I couldn't do it. I couldn't force him to be in that armor forever. And while I sat there...I thought he was dead and I just kept thinking that it was all his fault. Maybe if he'd just tried harder to stop me...he wouldn't have died. He wouldn't have lost his body. I wouldn't be..." he raised his automail arm and clenched the metal into a fist.

Alphonse wanted to cry. He had wanted Ed to hate him, to blame him, but now that Ed had actually said it, it hurt.

"It's easy to be angry at the dead, Edward. Believe me."

Ed continued, his flesh hand fisting in the sheets of Al's bed. "He never wanted to bring mom back. That's what I wanted. Cause I didn't want to be responsible for my little brother. I'm a monster, colonel. I can't give back what I've taken from him, but anything he wants from now on...all I want is to stay with him. When he was in the armor, he needed me. He stayed with me for a reason. Now...I wanted him to hate me. He has every reason to. I just wish he wants to stay. I want him to forgive me, but I can't ask him to."

Al's heart filled with a strange sort of happiness. How stupid they were! Ed's sadness was not because he was being forced to take care of Al. Ed was sad because he thought Al was getting ready to leave. How much would he have hurt his brother if he had left, thinking that Ed would be happier without him?

The colonel was looking at the figurine again, a knowing look on his face. Mustang had gotten Ed to talk about what he'd been feeling on purpose! Ed was right about the colonel being manipulative, but at least the man's heart was in the right place.

He needed to get back to his body, and he needed to do it _now_! _The hook_! Edward had said he used to hook to "catch" Al's soul. Maybe if he concentrated on the hook he could reel his soul back to his body. _Concentrate_!

He gasped, he was no longer in the dorm room, he was standing in the center of white nothingness. Only a large ornate gate stood in front of him. He trembled with a fear he didn't understand as the gate slowly creaked open.

_Snap_!

Alphonse sat up from his bed quickly, coughing, retching as dry heaves contracted his stomach painfully.

"_Alphonse_!"

Alphonse looked up, almost fearfully. His brother was staring wide-eyed, Colonel Mustang right behind him. Alphonse blinked, hesitating only a moment before he threw his arms around Edward and pulled him close. "Brother! I'm sorry!" Ed body went rigid with shock before he lightly wrapped his arms around Alphonse. It was a strange embrace, his flesh arm held him protectively while the automail hardly made contact. Al held on tighter, this was what he wanted. Just a simple comforting embrace. To be held and _feel_ that he was being held. "I'm so sorry, brother," he sobbed into Ed's neck. "Forgive, me, Ed."

"Hey," Ed said softly, pulling away enough to look into his brother''s eyes. "It was just a nightmare."

"No," Alphonse shook his head, desperately clutching onto Edward. "I thought you wanted me gone. I need you, Ed. Please. I don't want to leave."

Ed looked back to the colonel, annoyed. Mustang had that customary smirk, "I think I'd better go," he said, standing.

Ed looked like he was trying to come up with something to yell at Mustang, but the colonel was gone before anything was said.

"Please, Ed. Can you forgive me?" Alphonse asked.

"No, Al," Ed said, "forgive me. I didn't mean...I don't blame you. It was my fault. It was all my fault."

"It was both our faults. I'm sorry that I didn't get your arm and leg back. I still want to."

Ed laughed, hugging Al tight. "Don't worry about that! Is that what you were looking up in all these books?"

Ed was smiling. He was actually smiling. "No...I was looking up this." He pulled away from Ed just enough to pick up the chalkboard from the floor. "I couldn't remember what it was."

Ed ghosted his fingers over the lines, "Your seal."

"I did something stupid."

Ed gave him a terrifying look. "What?"

"I kind of activated it while you were gone..."

Ed grabbed Al's shoulders, his face flashed with fear, anger, worry, then confusion. "But, you're okay?"

"Yeah, it...I was the figurine." He picked up the figurine that had held his soul for a while. "It was strange. I think...I want to work on it."

"No! What if you can't get back?! How did you get back?"

"I thought about the hook. I think if I did what you said, you know, make it my own, I could get it to work better."

"To do what?!"

"To help," he said bashfully. "You'll have to start going on missions again, Ed, and I don't want to have to stay here, worrying about you. I want things to go back to normal. You won't get out of the military for at least another year."

"You...but...Al! You're human again!"

"And you've always been human. You still do it."

"But...I'm...no!"

Al grinned, hoping he was up for this. He slid off the bed and into a clear fighting stance. "I'll fight you for it. If you win, I stay here. If I win, I get to go with you."

"Alphonse Elric, you are still sick. I will not fight you."

"You're just scared you'll lose, like always."

"Ha! You're muscles are still weak, I could take you down in an instant."

That was the Edward he knew, "Oh, yeah? Show me!" He tackled his brother quickly.

"Al!" Ed yelled, scrambling to fight back.

Al knew that they needed to talk more about what was going on, but for right now, he just wanted to have his brother back. That was enough.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Glad so many of you liked the moderately happy ending to the last chapter. I very rarely write happy characters, but I had fun with it, so here. And sorry about the late update. I wanted to post yesterday, but my beta decided that going to see _Twelfth Night_ with his friends was more important than playing editor. :-P Also, my manager said I could blame him because there was this thing about bringing my computer to work so I could type on my brakes. So, its Jeremy's and Cameron's fault that its late.

Normal is Subjective

Chapter 7

Edward ran toward Roy's offices, sheer joy on his face. He'd forgotten what it was like to practice alchemy just to practice alchemy. He'd been on a mission, had a specific purpose for so long, it was nice to learn as he had when he and Al were living with their mother. To have nothing weighing on his mind; well, nothing so dire as reviving their mother or returning Alphonse's soul to his body. Maybe the colonel would allow him to finish his stint in the military as a simple researcher?

Well, _simple _was perhaps an understatement.

"Colonel!" He yelled as the door to the office slammed against the wall, startling everyone, with the exception of Hawkeye. Ed wasn't sure anything could faze that woman.

"There's no need to yell, Edward," the first lieutenant said calmly.

Edward had fully intended to obey the softly spoken order, when Mustang tore out of his office, looking worried, his fingers poised to snap.

The colonel's eyes quickly surveyed the room before they fell on Edward. He looked confused for a moment before his face steeled. "I thought you had deserted, Fullmetal. You do know that you're supposed to inform your superior officer when you don't show up for three days."

Ed's smile fell. He was busy. "Sorry, but you have to see this! Me and Al have been working on something...well...just look!" He pulled the figurine out of his pocket. Everyone in the office gathered around.

"Hey," Havoc said, "isn't that what Al made?"

Alphonse charged in before Ed could answer. He was panting, trying to catch his breath. "Hey! No fair, brother! I told you I wanted to tell him. Its my project."

Ed had a large grin on his face, "Using _my_ arrays and equations! Besides, you might be able to beat me in a fight, but I've always been faster than you. I won fair and square."

"Fair?! You transmuted my chalk into dust then turned the door into a wall as soon as you left! How is that fair?!"

"You had more chalk."

"What were you going to show him anyway? You need _me_ to do it."

Ed hadn't thought of that. "Mustang noticed it before I did. I could explain what we were doing. Enough to get him to approve the budget."

"You can't just barge in, demanding funding without _something_."

"Theories are _something_!"

"Hey!" Mustang yelled over the playful argument.

"Well," Havoc laughed, "nice to see you two made up."

Ed laughed, he wrapped his flesh arm around Al's shoulders. He was slightly annoyed that he had to stretch to reach his taller, _younger_ brother. "Just a stupid misunderstanding, right, Al?"

Al laughed nervously, "I'm sorry for just running in here. I told Ed we could just use our own money."

"No way! That's what my research budget is for. We need my salary money for stuff. Its not like you can wear my old clothes and I don't want to keep staying in the dorms."

Al sighed, repeating the arguments he'd had not ten minutes prior while they had been back in their room. "I'm not a State Alchemist, brother. You can't take from that money for my experiments."

Ed turned to the colonel, "But they're _my _theories, _my_ arrays, _my_ equations. What if we show you colonel? You can decide."

Mustang looked from Ed to Alphonse and back. "Good to see you two getting along. Alphonse is right, Edward. The research budget is for _you_. There are a million things you could study now that your work with the Philosopher's Stone is finished."

Mustang just hadn't seen what Al could do. That's why he didn't understand. "But this _is_ my work. Show him, Al."

Al turned the figurine over in Ed's hands. An array was etched in the back. It resembled the blood seal, but only three of the triangles actually had the bottom line. The rest were left open; and the hook had changed, it now had a half circle on either side, making it resemble a fishing lure.

Al looked at Ed and nodded before activating the array; Ed knew what would happen. He was ready. Sure, he had panicked the first few times, but after doing it dozens and dozens of times over the last few days, he'd almost gotten use to it.

The others, even Mustang, gasped and rushed forward to help catch Alphonse as he bonelessly pitched forward, unconscious, into Edward's arms. Ed handed the figurine to the colonel so he could better hold his brother's body.

"Edward, what—" Hawkeye stopped. The figurine was waving at them, standing in the colonel's hand.

"We want some materials and use of the field," Edward explained as the they crowded in to poke and prod the tiny metal doll.

"Is that...Alphonse?" Fury asked.

The figurine nodded, and gave a soft metallic _tink_ as as one arm was raised to behind it's helmet and it shook as it it were laughing, even though no sound came out. Ed knew all of Al's mannerisms, it made him laugh to see the tiny figurine have them.

"He can do this at will?" Mustang asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

That made Edward go on the defensive, "Yeah, why?"

"Do you know how dangerous this is? I can understand Alphonse doing it once, but I would have thought _you_ would have stopped him!"

Of course Ed knew it was dangerous. They spent an entire day working on new arrays and calculations before he had allowed Alphonse to try it again. He'd been nervous, scared,_ terrified_, really, but Al said that he knew how, and Ed understood that strange feeling of knowing something without being able to describe how you know. The Gate was strange that way. "You were the one who saw it first! The other night you let me go on and on without telling me. You don't know what we know. You can't understand what its like to _know_."

The figurine sat down on Roy's hand and then collapsed. Al took a deep breath and opened his eyes slowly. They'd found out rather early on that if Al didn't take his time "waking up" he would get violently ill. After a few more deep breaths, Al nodded, telling Ed that he could stand on his own. Al still looked slightly green, but it would fade quickly. "I thank you for worrying about us, colonel, but I can do this. Maybe if we can learn more about it, maybe..."

Alphonse had told Edward this idea. With Drachma and Xing as they were, and even how the government was itself, Alphonse thought that if he did enough research, could figure out exactly why he could do it, it would be something that could be taught, to save lives. To protect Ed.

"Al wants to see if we can modify it for other alchemists. To do that we need to know its limits. We can't do that in our room."

"Other alchemists?" Havoc sounded skeptical.

"Oh!" Fury said excitedly. "If we could have soldiers fighting, but have them actually be safely away, think of all the lives that could be saved."

"Alphonse," Colonel Mustang was very serious, "this is very dangerous. I understand what you're trying to do, and its very admirable, but this could kill you."

"No, it's not what you think. It isn't my soul...well, not all of it. I can still feel my body. I can know what's going going on around me...I can't really explain it, colonel. You helped us see how stupid we were being. I can do this. I know we're just kids, but we've been practicing alchemy for ten years. Let us prove to you what we can do."

Mustang sighed, "Fine. Hawkeye, find—"

"Requisition papers for exclusive use of the main field, sir." She handed him the forms. "It has an opening tomorrow afternoon, thirteen hundred to sixteen hundred."

"Can you get all of the materials by then?" Mustang didn't sound entirely happy or convinced.

"Plenty of time." Ed nodded.

"Will you come watch?" Alphonse asked. "To see what we can do?"

Mustang nodded, "Someone has to keep an eye on you two."

* * *

Ed and Al had gathered all of the materials and were setting everything up for the test. They had stayed up well past midnight working on new arrays and etching them into small metal plates. Alphonse thought that the plates would be easier than gloves because he would not need the time to change them, and faster than chalk because these arrays were so intricate. A small array on the corner of each plate would transmute it onto the puppet and hold it there, ensuring that the "seals" wouldn't be washed away. Al had made seven triangular plates, four had the same array that had been etched into the figurine, the last three each had slightly different array. Ed was about to transmute the scrap steel he had acquired into the suits of armor when he noticed Al slide a square etched plate into his pocket.

"I thought all the plates were triangles. What's that?"

Al gave him an innocent smile that seemed to morph into a Mustang-like smirk, "You'll see, brother." He turned to inspect the scrap metal. "Could you make two that look like my armor? One regular size, the other large, and maybe two that look different?"

"Yeah, I think we have enough for that."

"Wait," Al looked around, Mustang and his team were walking toward the edge of the fence around the field. "Let's really show them what we can do, brother. Let's spread them out. And leave me enough steel to make one."

"Mid-fight?! Are you sure?"

There was that Mustang-like smirk again; Ed would need to stop letting Al hang around the colonel so much. "Did you know that Colonel Mustang only let me take the State Alchemy Exam because he thought I'd fail?"

_What_?! "Alright." Mustang should be shown that Alphonse deserved more credit than that. "Let's finish setting up."

Alphonse nodded and they carried three of the steel plates across the yard, for Alphonse and spread the other three in different directions.

"Let's show 'em what we can do," Edward smiled.

"Warm-up first?"

"Sure."

And the fight began. Simple, easy sparring. Ed made sure that any move made with his automail was pulled, though he really didn't need to. Al could easily dodge or deflect any, but the thought of injuring his brother made Ed overly cautious.

Yet, just as he had found a few nights prior, Alphonse was still superior in fighting. Barely three minutes in, Edward was forced to stop "going easy" on Alphonse.

"C'mon, Ed!" Al laughed as he spun around, deflecting a kick from Ed. "You aren't even trying. This is a battle simulation! Throw in some Alchemy! Or at least _try_ to beat me."

Okay, Ed hadn't been going _that_ easy on Al. He smiled, "You want a real fight? Fine!" He clapped his hands together and pressed them against the ground. A large pipe with eyes and his trademark blond braid sprang up in the flash and a few dozen gallons of muddy water poured over Alphonse, covering him head to toe.

"_Hey_! Edward!" Alphonse growled. He quickly drew an array on his stomach in the mud and pressed his hands on it. The dirt and water were quickly transmuted away and he charged at Ed who was still laughing. Ed dodged two punches and a kick, backing away from each easily. Al threw another punch and Ed saw his opening. He leaned in to throw his own, but that was a mistake. Al was feigning the punch; instead Al grabbed Ed's automail arm, spun around, easily dropping the smaller, older brother to the ground and holding him there for a few moments.

Al then released Ed and rushed away, laughing. Ed tried to spring to his feet, to chase after his brother, but found his automail hand alchemically welded to the chest plate of one of the suits of armor. The palm was flat against the metal, a now smeared, mud drawn transmutation circle on the back of the hand. How was he supposed to clap? "Alphonse! Winry's gonna kill you!"

_Winry_, _crap._ He still hadn't called Aunt Pinako and Winry about Al getting his body back. He had been scared that if he had called them, they would either be angry at his mistake -- that he hadn't done the transmutation well enough, making Al weak and ill for so long -- or that Alphonse would talk to them and decide that he wanted to go back to Risembol. But the long talk they'd had the previous night convinced Ed that Alphonse didn't hate him, truly and honestly... and after Al had pinned Ed to the floor long enough for Ed to cede victory, he was convinced that Al was no longer _that _ill.

Right now though, that didn't matter. He pulled his metallic fingers up as far as they would go, slid the fingers of his flesh hand under and could barely pull them apart enough to tap them together. He freed his hand and stood, checking to be sure the automail was still functional. It was. The loud crashing of metal forced Ed to look up, just in time to dodge the giant gauntlet aimed for his head. He gasped as he jumped, "Whoa! Al, careful! Give me a little warning."

The suit of armor shrugged it's shoulders, wordlessly announcing, "Hey, this is supposed to be a life-or-death kind of fight."

Ed had not expected Al to create the armor and project himself into it so quickly. Al must have been practicing while Ed slept. Sneaky_ little_...Ed dodged a kick and countered with a right hook. He didn't need to hold back now. The loud, hollow clang of metal slamming into metal reverberated around the empty space of the field.

Al had said he wanted to attempt to use alchemy while he was in the armor. After Al deflected a high kick, Ed asked, slightly winded, "You ready to try some alchemy?"

_One quick nod_, it was weird not having Al be able to speak. "Alright, Al." Ed ducked under a punch and swept his automail leg, trying to knock the armor to the ground. The armor did a backward handspring, dodging. "Try something simple!" Ed ducked under another punch, but wasn't fast enough to jump when an armor leg swept his own out from under him. He fell face down in the grass, the breath slightly knocked out of him. He heard the armor clanking as it retreated. He stood quickly, facing the section where Mustang and the team were standing. There were many more spectators now. _Great_, they could all watch as Ed got his ass kicked by his younger brother. _Mustang must be loving this_.

Ed turned to follow where the armor had run to, only to be covered in a spray of water and mud from his own transmuted pipe, which now had Al's mop of short, dark-blond hair rather than his braid. He flung his hands, throwing off some mud. _Okay_, now he understood why Al had gotten annoyed. He clapped his hands and touched them to his stomach, _pocket of air between the mud and me, release the water as vapor, let the dirt fall away_. Just as Al had done.

Al had one hand behind his head, soundlessly laughing. "Yeah, yeah," Ed feigned anger. Al was near another set of armor. Now that they had made sure Al could use alchemy, time for "Experiment Two." "Okay. Al. I'm gonna attack head-on. You got the plates?" Al nodded. "Try transferring to another armor."

Al dodged two punches, carefully making sure he led Ed where Al wanted. Al threw one and as Ed dodged, Al slammed a plate to the chest of the nearest armor.

Ed had expected the armor in front of him to collapse as the other stood. The first held its defensive stance as the second climbed to its feet, and took the same stance. "Whoa, Al! You're controlling both!" The armors looked to each other before turning back to Ed. Another wordless question, well, more of a challenge, really: "Think you can take both?"

Ed laughed and started throwing punches. Controlling two seemed much more difficult. The punches and kicks were slightly sloppy, but it didn't diminish the high advantage. Ed was having trouble keeping them both in front of him, where he could see them.

Suddenly, both suits froze and turned. Ed had expected his punch to be dodged, and hissed as his flesh hand connected with a metal breastplate. "Al, what...?' Both armors collapsed and beyond them, Ed saw a group of blue uniformed soldiers standing over Al's body. One was kneeling next to the prone form. Ed instantly started forward, terrified. They had walked onto a field during a battle simulation...they must have been after Al.

"Alphonse! _NO_!" Ed heard Mustang's frightened yell and realization hit him. He willed his legs faster.

_Too late_...

Alphonse's fist connected with the jaw of Fuhrer Bradly.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Two things: 1) I'm sorry the chapter is late. But I believe that a decently written chapter is much more important than getting it posted on time. Like all my Mustang chapters, it had to be rewritten...would it be this hard for me to write Ed if I was a Ranger? I don't know. 2) Yes, I've seen the whole series, yes, I know about Bradly. (Spoiler Alert for series) He did a damn good job of fooling everyone, and you can take what he says in this chapter more than one way. So no complaining about the Fuhrer! Oh, and I was sure I'd get an e-mail or two about "why didn't Roy freak out if Ed had disappeared for THREE days?" Huh, what-ev.

Normal is Subjective

Chapter 8

Roy Mustang walked to the field where he and Ed had fought. Funny how long ago that fight seemed. His team was excitedly going back and forth, wondering what amazing feat they would be seeing.

Was it because they weren't alchemists that they didn't understand?

Alchemy's Number One Law: Equivalent Exchange.

The Elric brothers repeated it like a mantra; "Never forget Equivalent Exchange." What was Alphonse exchanging for placing his soul again and again into different shells? How was Roy supposed to protect those two if they consistently seemed determined to get themselves killed?!

He had panicked when Edward had not reported to the office the morning after he'd finally gotten Edward and Alphonse to talk. Roy had been surprised at how easy it had been to force those two to settle whatever differences they had. It had almost been too convenient. He'd had a difficult time hiding his surprise when he had seen the glowing red eyes on the small figurine.

At ten o'clock the next morning, an hour after Edward had been showing up every day for over a month, Roy had started to wonder. It had been routine. The way subordinates were _supposed_ to work. Why wasn't Edward there? By noon the colonel had excused himself for lunch and started hunting. Neither boy had been in their dorm, but the room showed no signs of a struggle. If someone had tried to hurt the boys, Edward would have surely put up a fight. He had run back to his office, ready to rally the troops into a search party when he'd gotten a call from the Central Library. _Some _kid_ was trying to access restricted alchemy texts._ A new librarian, obviously. Roy had gone to the library, and found both boys quietly arguing alchemy laws and theories that he'd hardly heard of, much less comprehended.

What he did understand made his stomach burn with a new kind of fear.

It was an intriguing idea. One that would be _very _useful. Amestris would never have to worry about its surrounding countries ever again. How many brothers-in-arms would still be alive if they'd had this technique in Ishbal?

Or, Roy guessed, how many more Ishballians would be dead?

Those boys couldn't handle another blow. Alphonse asked Edward if he would use Alphonse's technique if they could figure out how to replicate it...Edward protected Alphonse, Alphonse protected Edward. Each in their own way. What kind of target would Alphonse be painting on himself if they _were_ able to weaponize this alchemy? Did kind-hearted Alphonse not understand that this would be used as a weapon? That to save their own soldiers, they would use it to kill their enemies? Alphonse was young, innocent, but not naive. The Elric brothers had seen enough of the world to understand.

Though, those two were highly advanced alchemists. Roy hardly understood what they were going on about, how would your average alchemist even begin to replicate it?

Roy shook his head, refocusing his attention back to the field. He shouldn't have agreed to this. His curiosity had gotten the better of him. What if it _was_ possible? He selfishly thought about what honors this discovery would give him. _He_ had found Edward Elric, _he _was the boy's commanding officer.

Protect the Elrics or climb the ladder?

Alphonse looked right at Mustang and the team for a moment before going back to moving the steel plates around the field. Three stacks were transmuted by Edward into different sets of armor, the fourth was left off to the side.

"Wow," Havoc laughed. "Look at the boss' face. Does his smile look different to you?"

Riza answered, her steeled face softening for a moment, "It's a real smile. That's what's changed."

"Oh, hey!" Fury hushed, "They're starting."

Roy was mesmerized by the fight. He had always wondered how the suit of armor had been so agile, so skilled, and the proof was now in front of him. The armor had not been _armor_ to Alphonse; the boy had treated it as if it had _actually_ been his body. The armor had moved with such fluid grace, because _Alphonse_ moved with such fluid grace.

_And skill_!

Alphonse and Edward both fought the same way they thought. Edward was hasty, spontaneous, but once you knew him, usually easily predictable. Alphonse watched, studied, waited for an opening, only exerted the energy that was absolutely necessary. It was easy to see why Edward always lost.

Maybe he had chosen they wrong brother after all?

Then Alphonse was taunting Edward, and Roy felt himself grow nervous. Edward would _never_ hurt his brother, but Roy had been on the receiving end of the Fullmetal Alchemist's alchemy before.

And as soon as mud and water covered Alphonse, Edward was laughing hysterically, and Roy finally realized what had looked strange from the beginning. They were not watching a battle simulating, they were watching two children play.

Alphonse quickly rid himself of the mud and ran straight for Edward, easily tossing the older brother down. Roy hadn't realized the younger had used alchemy until Edward was trying to stand. The ease with which those two used alchemy was astounding. They didn't need to concentrate, it didn't phase them in the least, alchemy was just another extension of their martial arts.

A small crowd had begun to gather, not a surprise, he'd had to explain why he was requesting the field in the requisition papers. Any mention of the Fullmetal Alchemist always brought onlookers.

Mustang watched curiously as Alphonse ran across the yard while Edward struggled to free himself. Alphonse pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket and slid on his knees the last few feet. The array was drawn in barely seconds and in less time, a suit of armor lay on the ground. The boy pulled something from his pocket and placed it on the chest of the armor and there wasn't even a flash as Alphonse fell to the ground and the armor sprang to its feet. The metal helmet turned to the sleeping body before familiar red-fire eyes turned to the audience and locked with Roy's.

Alphonse was trying to prove himself. The boy had asked specifically for Roy to watch. The youngest Elric wanted someone to be proud of what he could do. The boy was showing off to the only father-figure he had known.

And Roy was very proud.

With that thought came a wave of guilt. Hadn't Roy been just thinking how he could use this to gain more power to become fuhrer?!

Now, Edward wasn't paying attention. Alphonse wouldn't hurt...

Roy released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding when Edward dodged at the last moment. Edward yelled something Roy couldn't quite make out and the next they knew, Edward was covered in water and mud from his own pipe.

What would it look like if this fight was real? As much as Roy hated to admit it, he couldn't help but wonder. What these boys were doing was beyond the understanding of nearly, if not all, other State Alchemists, but if it _was_ possible...

Two sets of armor now fought Edward, _Amazing_. They didn't move with the same practiced ease, but they were putting up enough of a fight.

Then, they just _stopped_.

"Whoa. Who'd go onto the field during a simulation like this?"

"Yeah, what are they doing?"

Roy had completely forgotten the crowd and scanned the field. Sure enough, a small group was standing over Alphonse's body. Roy stood, ready to vault the fence and unleash a wave of fire at whomever would try to hurt the boy. Then he stopped. It was Fuhrer Bradly. What the hell was the fuhrer doing?!

The two suits of armor collapsed loudly, Alphonse didn't know.

_Dear God_, Alphonse didn't know it was Fuhrer Bradly! Neither he nor Edward could see the faces of the people over him.

"Alphonse, _NO_!" He bellowed as loudly as he could as he saw the boy's body stir. Roy jumped the fence, running the instant his feet hit the grass. Everything seemed to slow. He watched as Alphonse's fist hit the fuhrer, the boy rolled out of Bradly's grasp, and took a defensive position. As the boy had moved, the fuhrer's personal guards raised their rifles. Edward was ahead of Roy, but neither would make it in time. What would Edward do if Alphonse was executed before his eyes? _This can't be happening._

He saw Edward dive for his brother...there was a shot...

Roy froze and held his breath.

Edward had tackled Alphonse to the ground, his body curling protectively over his younger brother and he stared wide-eyed at the fuhrer. Bradly had one hand raised, signaling his guards to stand down, his other hand was just over the smoking barrel of the rifle he had knocked away from its target.

Edward tore his eyes from the fuhrer, searching his brother for injury. Roy couldn't see the boy, but Edward must have been satisfied because his head shot up, but he stayed over his brother as he yelled, "What the _hell_?! Who walks onto a field where—"

"_Fullmetal_!" The colonel yelled, snapping to attention. How was Roy supposed to salvage this?!

"I'm terribly sorry," Fuhrer Bradly spoke softly, "I didn't mean to frighten the boy. All I saw was a child lying right in the field. I have a boy not too much younger, I guess my fatherly side got the better of me." His grin was a little to wide, "Is he the one with the amazing idea on how to improve my army?"

Ed leaned back enough for Roy to catch a glimpse of Alphonse; the youngest Elric was still curled in a fetal position, shaking uncontrollably. Edward smoothed back his brother's bangs and answered, "It's _both_ our idea. Why couldn't you have just asked us after? The last time he snapped back so fast it took him half a day before he could try again."

This had happened before and Edward was still allowing this?! Roy stepped loser, Alphonse's eyes were closed, his brow furrowed in pain, he was covered in sweat, shaking, gasping, and Roy could see the small puddle of vomit next to the boy's head. Edward had said that he trusted that Alphonse could do this. What did these boys know that Roy didn't? They always spoke of a Gate. Did this Gate really give them some incomprehensible knowledge?

"Brother?" Alphonse called weakly. He coughed before vomiting again. Edward pulled the younger boy into his arms and pressed his automail hand against a flushed cheek. Alphonse leaned into the metal, "S-sorry. Di-n't see..."

"No need for apologies, son," Bradly smiling. "Keep working on it. We'll need to have these sorts of problems fixed before we can start training troops. Wouldn't want to leave anyone defenseless."

"Its not that..." Edward argued. "He said...its like when you're in a dark room and someone turns on a light. It hurts your eyes. Al says its like that, except with all your senses."

"Still, a fascinating idea. Whatever funding you require, I will be sure that it is approved. With a weapon like this, Amistris will be an unstoppable force." He turned to Roy, "Colonel Mustang," he motioned for Roy to follow as he turned and started walking. "That is Alphonse Elric?" The fuhrer asked as soon as they were out of earshot from the brothers.

"Yes, sir." Roy answered, he hope it didn't sound as forced as he thought it had. He didn't think he could follow an order to make Alphonse a State Alchemist.

"Fullmetal is very protective of his younger brother."

"Yes, sir. Alphonse had been very sick for the last five years. Its only been a few months since he has gotten better."

The fuhrer laughed, "It is unfortunate."

"Sir?"

"I don't want to see that boy become a State Alchemist. I was warned to make sure you didn't get both Elric brothers a few years ago. No one person should control that much power."

Roy was left gaping. What could he say to that?!

The fuhrer gave a dismissive wave. "You are not the only one vying for power, Flame Alchemist. There are many people, more ruthless than even you. Many people have been looking through records recently, and your staff is not very careful about covering their tracks...but then, neither are others. I would watch out, Flame Alchemist. You are very young to hold the rank you do. Many people do not like their power threatened. Or for those under them to be trying for _higher_ positions."

Did Bradly know?! How could the fuhrer have found out about his plan to one day run the country?! Roy tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

"You are a formidable opponent," Bradly looked back to where Ed and the rest of Mustang's team was fanning and helping Alphonse slowly drink a cup of water. "You have a very powerful, very _vulnerable_ alchemist under your command. You don't need another. Allow them to finish their work, this may be very useful. And one day, perhaps our ranks will have use for a Puppeteer Alchemist. Until then, don't allow any transfer. _You_ are more honorable than others of your position."

Roy was trying to understand. The fuhrer was warning him? Bradly didn't want Alphonse to be a State Alchemist...yet, _vulnerable_...Roy knew someone was after Edward, but there was nothing official. The fuhrer was giving him a _clue_?! "Thank you,sir."

"For what?" Bradly laughed, "I just made you a babysitter."

Roy saluted, "Yes, sir."

"Take good care of them, they have proven themselves to be very useful. It would be a shame if such a resource was lost." The fuhrer nodded and left.

Roy sighed, what was it about those boys? He made his way back to his team, Alphonse still did not look well. The boy's eyes were closed and he back was against Edward, as if he didn't have the strength to sit up.

"He just needs to rest, colonel," Edward said, more calmly then Roy thought he should. "It'll pass."

Roy chose not to answer with the lecture about Alphonse's safety that he so wanted to bash into the boy's brain. "Let's go back to my house; we'll call Cullings." Of course Fullmetal tried to argue. "You are coming to my house, Alphonse will sleep on something better than a military issue cot, and you will eat something aside from the slop they serve in the mess hall."

Edward sighed, "Fine."

"Fury, Havoc, make sure the field gets cleaned up."

They both answered with "Yes, sir."

* * *

Hawkeye drove the three to the colonel's house and left to gather the rest of the day's paperwork for the colonel to finish at home. It had been a silent drive. Alphonse wouldn't speak, and seemed to be in an uneasy sleep.

Roy unlocked the door and stepped inside. "Why don't I take him upstairs, and you put a kettle on to boil?" Roy asked, shifting the boy in his arms.

Alphonse grunted, "What's that smell?"

"Smell?" Edward asked, "What do you mean?"

Roy took a tentative breath, Alphonse was overly sensitive, but Roy could smell something strange as well. It smelled...metallic?

He took another breath and began to feel light-headed. _Metallic_? Gas! Roy turned to the front door, "We have to get out of here!" But it was too late, Edward was already stumbling, blinking trying to focus his eyes. Alphonse suddenly seemed far too heavy and Roy heard Edward's metal limbs hit the floor, just an instant before he himself fell.


End file.
